Interpersonal communication and dating

Jerry was successful primarily because of his persistence and continual conscious effort to improve his skills and confidence. The focus of this self-help manual is to help you improve your conversational and intimacy skills.I have counseled with and taught these skills to hundreds of people seeking ways of becoming more outgoing and assertive, more confident, and more able to develop close relationships with others-especially others in romantic situations.Part of that romantic attractiveness dimension is physiological and a greater part is cultural and psychological.

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People who work toward common goals, play on the same team, work together, participate in the same group, or play together tend to become closer over time just because of the common experiences and history they have shared.

Therefore, to get closer to someone, try to share more with them.

Or, one person could be unavailable because he/she is already in a committed relationship.

Or, perhaps one or both are so busy, they don't give any priority or time to meeting others. For that reason, active searching for others and meeting many people statistically increases your odds of finding someone highly compatible to you.

Those positive contacts increase the chances that your partner will value you and feel closer to you.

Negative contacts increase distance and resentment. Even though creating positive interactions are the best way to achieve closeness and intimacy, just being together and sharing a common history, especially positive common events, can help two people feel close.People who are not reliable, trustworthy, honest also will have problems forming close, lasting relationships; as will people who have personal problems with addictions or other habits that seriously interfere with relationships. One theory of attachment or love states that one's feeling of attachment to another is related to the intensity and number of positive contacts divided by the number of negative contacts (times the number of contacts).Before you can have a happy, close and long-lasting relationship with another person, you must first develop yourself until you can meet the minimal standards of what a potential partner (like the one you want) would need from you. This theory may be an oversimplification, but think about it for a minute.Similarly, how do you feel about someone who usually greets you with a smile and positive comment versus someone who usually is critical or negative toward you?Be friendly, give genuine compliments, be helpful and supportive, and show interest and listen effectively.Ask yourself, honestly, what someone who you want is looking for. If you have 10 contacts with someone and the overwhelming feeling you get each time is happiness, how do you feel?

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