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After embracing her designer pal, Parker's perfectly made up face appeared to have been soiled by a spattering of fake tan.Despite being a healthy colour, Parker looked positively pale next to the mahogany designer.

And so I turned to my peers and asked how they self-care, but their replies did not comfort me. It’s not burning sage and playing your sound bowls or swimming in the ocean to cleanse the bad . I went to see another therapist to help with my “emotional constipation,” which my partner and I termed “emobung.” (We even added it to the Urban Dictionary because these are the ways you amuse yourself in an effort to cope when you’re not really coping at all).

It’s not wrapping up other people’s pain in a play-mat and sending it home with them. I asked this therapist, a peer, to help me release all this emotional build-up, to help me stop feeling triggered irrationally by things that don’t even matter. Whatever I expressed exposed my inadequacies as a therapist.

Acknowledging when you hurt, when you don’t get things right. When you are fearful and angry and when you just need a break from supporting to be supported.

When you are overwhelmed and don’t have time or space to self-care.

And no one prepared us for when we (inevitably) feel we are inadequate, that it is our fault. I keep stuffing it down until I sense I might explode, but still I can’t feel it. It’s below the surface, pushing and shoving, and I know it’s there.

The mantra of self-care attaches blame (and therefore shame) to not being okay. I carry its weight, its bulk, its awkwardness, but it remains detached from me, as though it is their pain, too.

The 76-year-old style guru's skin looked alarmingly amber as he arrived at the opening night of the New York City Ballet's new season.

And it appears Valentino's glowing hue rubbed off on his famous friend Sarah Jessica Parker as the pair hugged on the red carpet last night.

Despite her unfortunate make-up incident, Parker looked sleek in a black bandeau dress with silver beading sleeves and hemline.

Sensibly she opted for black opaque tights to keep her warm as the New York evening plummeted to a chilly 2 degrees Celsius.

Because we are supposed to be the ones who have our shit together. When everyone knows what you do, you feel judged for not being okay. No one prepared me for what happens when I find myself throwing tantrums over ridiculous things that don’t even matter, and still I can’t feel.

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