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She can pass for being straight, but we know she’s not because she said so and because of who she is with (i.e. A butch is the lesbian who will never put on a dress or wear makeup, a bra or thong that comes from Victoria’s Secret. She’s the one who builds houses, drives a motorcycle and loved her military service because she could wear a uniform just like the guys. Femme lesbians are seen a lot more often in the media and get the leading celesbian roles in lesbian media. It sparked the stereotypical question that is still often asked, “So who’s the guy? ” It’s a stupid question because no one is trying to be the guy in a lesbian relationship, and no one is arguing about who wears pants versus who wears the dress or who’s going to have the baby.

We are in a time period where the femme lesbian gets all the attention because straight male culture enjoys fantasizing about a night with two lesbians. Femmes are no more interested in hooking up with a guy than butches, and straight male porn creates fantasies about lesbians that are not even close to true.

Since then we have moved in together, started our own business and gotten engaged. We are so very grateful to the Pink Sofa for bringing us together and can't believe our luck in finding the perfect partner.

You can see a very classic-looking butch-femme couple in action, in the news and showing up looking very butch and very femme.

Ellen De Generes is a great example of a butch woman coming into her comfort zone.

Since then I've been working to build a place for lesbians to meet, talk, learn about each other, and (with any luck! In their responses, I found 10 words that kept coming up again and again.

They were: "I met my partner Annie on Pink Sofa in August 2013.

She’s gone from looking more feminine in her younger days to now showing up only in suits, jackets, vests, pants and tuxedos with a short haircut and small jewelry, as well as exuding more masculine energy but with a lesbian touch. She sees herself competing with guys (like a tomboy does) and looks more masculine than feminine in appearance.

She’s never going to pass for being a straight woman. Yes she’s gorgeous, if you like her type, and she always shows up in the dress, heels, makeup, her hair done, jewelry and accessorized to the max. There’s a term for that and it’s FTM transgender person. She’s someone who probably wanted to be a boy as a young girl but grew out of it to loving her female body and how it feels to connect to a woman as a woman. The butch-femme dynamic was a very typical kind of couple a generation or two ago.

Maybe it was my aloofness that drew in the dudes (straight girls take note), but damn, dudes were easy like ~Sunday morning~.

All you have to do is bat a lash, act entirely disinterested, cold and bitchy, and boys will fall at your feet.

I kept looking for an easy solution, but there wasn't one. There just wasn't an easy way to be a part of the community.

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