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The dynamic of one partner always giving and the other always taking is common.

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I have been patient in a relationship for 4 years only to see the boyfriend rejects me when he is with his former kids and ex partner. Ok, i have bent over backwards, given him support, hope, space and affection and neglected my own emotional needs. It seems you are just what this article says you are. The way he treats you is a reflection of how he feels about himself.

This also applies when we go out together, i am nobody until boys start talking to me. I have been patient in a relationship for 4 years only to see the boyfriend rejects me when he is with his former kids and ex partner. It's a difference being there for someone and just being stupid. By you having knowledge of why he behaves that way, won't help you at all.

With this strong feeling of having to cover up all the time, they hold onto their love very tightly because giving it up makes them feel as though they are sliding on ice.

Also, for selfish lovers, love feels like a scarce resource.

The result of being a selfish lover is often either to find an extraordinary giver who can tolerate what feels like immense restrictive behavior or to have multiple “superficial” relationships.

This keeps the selfish lover in an unthreatened mode and they then can feel as though they don’t have to answer to anyone.What is the psychology that underlines this fear and what can you do about this?Selfish lovers often suffer from feeling inadequate.Don’t let your anger get the better of you, but don’t also pretend not to ever be angry or sad.Find the right balance for you; (5) Also, when you talk to them, help them find things in their lives that will help them feel more self-connected. If all else fails, leaving is always an option, but with your addiction to selfish lovers, you are likely to find another one, or turn them into one.However, he likes telling everyone how much i love our relationship and uses me to make him look good. This also applies when we go out together, i am nobody until boys start talking to me. Stand up for yourself when he does something you don't like say something he does it again separate yourself from him for awhile and let him make the first move. Think about it is he really worth the embarrassment and shame. But what will help you is to put in place strong boundaries & give him real consequences for his actions when he uses you & treat you like an object. Bad mouthing him about his bad behavior, yelling & arguing with him isnt forms of consequences..(Consequences require firm repetitive ACTIONS) You've already said it, he's using you. You bend backwards just to give him what he wants, no matter how harshly he treats you.

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