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Prada sunglasses, Jimmy Choos, Armani clothing, her Honda Civic... Kitten was teaching dance to kids for a while, and then one of the parents caught wind of what she did on the side, and suddenly there was no room for Kitten in the next season's teaching roster.

The woman who had protested against her, according to Kitten, had escaped her abusive husband by secretly setting aside extra money until she could afford to leave him.

Well, you could barely keep Thurston on a lat-press machine after that.

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On all these websites, the splash page features a beautiful young woman, elegant but with sideboob, and either she's overtly dangling a piece of jewelry or she is wearing it. Each time, a man, older, nearing silver status, is looking right at her, unable to take his rich, priapic eyes off her.

He has the beginnings of male-pattern baldness: baldness that says, “I've lived, I have money, here is a bracelet.” He is about to lean into her neck, maybe take a big old bite out of it, and she hangs back, only for a moment, only to tell us her secret, which is: “Look, I got a bracelet.”Everyone on Seeking Arrangement knows what they're there for, Thurston says.

Was she thin “but not anorexic, a shapely body, you know? He doesn't give them money until their second date, when they're in the bedroom, which sometimes feels bad, which sometimes chips away at his this-isn't-prostitution line—Thurston was raised Catholic, after all—but what's the alternative? Which is not to say that old Thurston is a bad guy.

Anyway, she asked for money up front, and he sent her $800.

Drama, according to Thurston, includes taking your time to decide whether you want to have sex, having any motive beyond the one you stipulated up front (which was greed), and a presumption that you will be courted. Sugar dating is the oldest dynamic around: Rich person contracts poorer but younger/hotter person into some combination of obligations that includes but is only rarely limited to straight-up sex.

As long as people have had money and other people have wanted money, this has been a thing.

Thurston Von Moneybags (not his real name) was scammed once by a girl in Houston. She didn't show to the meet, and that's the last time Thurston Von Moneybags ever got hustled again.

He had arranged to meet her so that he might size her up and determine whether he wanted to give her a monthly stipend in exchange for regular sex and sometimes maybe dinner. Was she blonde and blue-eyed, the way he liked them? Now he meets the girls for lunch before he offers them an ahem arrangement, and he is very clear. A thing you should know is that there are very few people to root for in this story.

“And I was like, ‘You're not doing anything different than I'm doing, except you're stealing.’ ” Which, sure, those two things seem exactly the same.

A thing people like to do in the sugar realm, when they're being defensive, is they like to tell you how they're doing just another version of what you're doing. We're also both journalists, me and my husband, which is to say that we've been bringing each other down financially and “beneficially” since the day we met.

—was left tied to his coffee table for twenty hours by 17-year-old twins he met through Seeking Arrangement.

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