Building confidence in dating

You love your mistakes, your insecurities, your fears, your anxiety, your laziness and even your lack of focus or motivation. But despite his bad glasses, big nose, and stuttering speech, he has no problem scoring.

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If you believe you're unworthy of love, you will attract partners who treat you as if you are.

If you treat yourself as unimportant, chances are you will be treated as such by your mate.

Lack of self acceptance can go a long way toward eroding love relationships, since the negativity you harbor about yourself will surely bleed onto your partner.

Negativity is like a cancer that grows and spreads from one partner to the other, poisoning the entire relationship.

Instead, intensify your personality: If you're shy, take a book to the bar; if you're the life of the party, initiate the body shots; if you're a one-woman guy, keep holding out for that long-term relationship.

By being honest about who you are—to yourself and the world—you'll exude an inner confidence that will effortlessly draw women to you like never before. THE SHY GUY You're the guy who just wants a steady girlfriend—so much so that you may drive a girl away with your tendency to smother early on, or end up missing out on fun with the guys once you've got her. Be honest with yourself about your goals for long-term monogamy; despite what your buddies may say, there's nothing wrong with wanting what you want. That means no more taking a girl to an event such as a wedding just so you don't have to go alone—even though you have no interest in pursuing anything more with her.

Practicing this kind of acceptance on yourself is what will enable you to extend that level of tolerance to your beloved.

If you accept your own imperfections, then you will be more tolerant of the imperfections of others.

At its extreme, low self-esteem can cause people to reject or sabotage love relationships almost automatically.

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