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What would be the point in tricking someone into thinking you’re something that you’re not when you have hopes of spending the rest of your life together?The truth is going to come out eventually, and when it does, it could very well ruin the relationship.But, if you’re looking for the one, you really should take the time to consider what it is you want and need in a relationship and in life.

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Besides, why try to do the near impossible (change someone) when there are people out there who already share your values and goals? Other ways to put yourself out there include using dating apps and websites, being open to blind dates, and letting your friends and family know you’re not only available but also actively looking.

The only way to meet the one is to put yourself out there, because let’s face it, it’s highly unlikely he or she is just going to show up on your doorstep. That’s not to say that you will immediately find the one through any of these avenues, but it doesn’t hurt to meet new people.

I mean, why torture yourself in a dramatic relationship if it isn’t what you want long-term?

If finding the one is your primary goal when dating, you must be yourself at all times.

There are a lot of different ways in which you can put yourself out there, but my favorite has always been simply to do the activities you’ve always enjoyed. Let’s say you know what you want and you’ve been going out on a few dates but for some reason nobody seems good enough.

Perhaps you just haven’t found the one yet, but maybe nobody seems good enough because of something that’s happened to you in the past.

You just couldn’t wait to see them again, so you made it a priority in your calendar. Don’t assume you already know what your spouse thinks/feels/knows about a certain subject even though you’ve been married for years. If you need some help, here are some fun Marriage Talk questions to spark conversation. You let them into your life, bit by bit, as you shared your thoughts and feelings and told stories.

You went out of your way to keep that appointment—going into work early if you needed to so you could be sure to get away on time. And your commitment to being there was a silent message to them: 2. Don’t just default to dinner or takeout and a movie. Don’t assume your spouse knows/understands all about you just because you have said it before.

Trying to find the one can easily become an obsession.

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